Bio & Background
As far back as I can remember I always wanted to understand life and also suffer less.
I started going to weekly psychotherapy at the age of 17. I kept this up for the next 8 years, trying to figure out my own suffering.
After graduating from university with a degree in finance, I moved to Santiago, Chile to start work life. I soon found myself miserable. So, in January of 2005, I went back to university to study psychology with the intention to become a psychologist. There was a psychology class by the name of “Meditation, Biofeedback, and Self-Regulation”. I signed up. It was taught by one of the Early Transcendental Meditation adepts, Dr. Edward Taub.
By the end of the first day of class I knew that meditation would be an important part of my life.
So, I’ve been meditating for the past 15 years in a largely Buddhist context. I’ve practiced Zen, Advaita Vedanta self-inquiry, concentration practice, Vipassana/Insight, Tibetan Deity Yoga, open awareness practices, and heart practices like Loving Kindness, Devotional practices, and Tong Len.
However, even after 300 days on meditation retreat and 7,250 hours of formal practice, I still didn’t feel truly settled and at ease. I had access to deep meditative states and classical insights described by the contemplative traditions. But, still there was ennui, discomfort. Something was missing.
In January of 2020 a friend and fellow meditator, Evan Lee, mentioned attachment theory, the need to repair early attachment conditioning, and the Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (IPF).
Very quickly I recognized myself in his description of insecure attachment. Subsequently, on my Adult Attachment Interview (AAI) I was scored as disorganized (CC/Ds3/E2/F-general). Disorganized is the most problematic and dysfunctional type of attachment conditioning. In my case I had sufficiently high indicators of both dismissing (Ds), and preoccupied (E) for them to be scored. I also did have appreciable secure functioning (F) as well – likely the result of the years of psychotherapy and meditation.
But, still I had a disorganized attachment style after 8 years of weekly psychotherapy, 14 years of meditation, 7,250 hours of formal meditation practice and over 300 days on meditation retreat!
So, I started studying attachment theory in January 2020, and also practicing the IPF on my own and then getting facilitated as well.
As a result of this work I now actually value attachment and connection with others. In the past I would want to be close with others. But it was mainly because I noticed that I would get miserable when I was alone. But, there was little joy being around others. I was ambivalent and anxious about it. This has improved greatly.
Moreover, there is much greater ease in life, generally. In the past, I would mood-alter with trying to always accomplish more and more. Otherwise, I’d get depressed and feel lost.
Another change has been my ADHD. I have struggled with ADHD my whole life. It was so hard to follow through on tasks. I’d procrastinate on most anything that involved reading or writing. This has now improved greatly. The work I used to put off now gets done.
Another change is that issues that I bring up in therapy get resolved. The old pattern was that I’d work on an issue in therapy and it would not change in any meaningful way. This is one of the main reasons I quit therapy for 10 years. Now, however, problems get worked through. So, there’s a sense of efficacy.
Now, my primary work is facilitating others in the IPF guided meditation in addition to teaching other more traditional forms of meditation.
I’d be happy to help you along this same path.
What is on offer here is meditation coaching. Cedric is not a psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist or counselor.