Secure Attachment is caused by good enough parenting in terms of getting the following from our caregivers during the critical period of attachment (first three years of life). The first five in the list draw from Dan Brown & David Elliott’s 2016 book “Attachment Disturbances in Adults”:
- safety and protection
- attunement, feeling seen and known
- soothing, physical affection
- expressed delight
- support for explorations
- unconditional/reliable love (not having to worry that love is conditional)
- guidance and boundary setting
- problem solving within the zone of proximal development
- sense of belonging (largely a result of entrainment and synchronization of mental and physical states)
Of these safety and protection is most important. If the child doesn’t feel safe during the early years with their caregivers disorganized attachment often results.
