Using compassion to heal early attachment wounds and develop healthier relationshipsOne-day Online Meditation Retreat
- Date: Sunday, 27th Jun 2021
- Instructor: Cedric Reeves
- Cost: Sliding scale
In this retreat, we'll clarify what compassion is, how to cultivate it, and its benefits. More specifically, we'll focus on how to use compassion meditation to help us heal our attachment conditioning and how compassion supports healthy relationships with others.
Moreover, in my view, developing compassion simply helps bring about adult emotional maturation process more quickly.
The technique that we'll use is Tong Len, a Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhist Meditation. Compassion is a universal virtue. You don't have to be a Buddhist to do this practice.
Who is this for?
- For anyone who wants to go from insecure to secure attachment.
- Suitable for anyone new to attachment-work, or is already experienced.
- People with Insecure Attachment.
- For anyone who is willing to do the work to get results
Event Date & Time
The retreat runs for 10 hours, 30 mins total. Partial attendance is perfectly fine.
This program is suitable for beginners to meditation and healing work.
This program is about developing compassion.
Tong Len is said to include four sublime emotions: Loving Kindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy, and Equanimity. It also is a training in the practice of generosity, ethics, tolerance, effort, concentration and wisdom, all at once.
Incorporation of the Schemas
More specifically, we’ll direct the compassion towards all those who (including ourselves) experience suffering around the five attachment Schemas described by Jeffrey Young (Schema Therapy).
- Abandonment and Instability
- Mistrust and Abuse
- Emotional Deprivation
- Defectiveness and Shame
- Social Isolation and Alienation
Relating to the Schemas to our lives
We will use the sentence stems to help us understand how these schemas color our view of ourselves and the world and how we then go about responding to these skewed ways of viewing:
- “When I am seeing the world from this schema I see myself like so……. (fill in the blank) and the world is like so…………(fill in the blank).”
- Seeing myself and the world this way I must respond in the following way…….(fill in the blank)
We will use the compassion practice to bring about emotionally corrective experiences that will generate a new more positive view of self, other, and world thereby healing the negative schema.
In addition to healing these schemas, the guided meditations will help us do perspective taking, helping us understand cause and effect. We’ll understand better how we fit in in the world and with others. We’ll see how the negative conditioning that brought on these schemas are common, and how we are not to blame.
Resistance is a normal part of the healing process. We will learn to understand and value our own resistance, developing openness, and compassion towards it; not pushing it away.
Second Lecture and Guided Meditation
The second lecture will provide another opportunity for question and answer. Additionally we’ll discuss the motivation to heal in such away to be both personally happier and also to be of greater service to others. Moreover, we will discuss how and why compassion is a natural and necessary outcome of deep and proper spiritual practice.
The retreat is suitable for beginners
Tong Len is a safe practice for beginners. But, it can be kinda weird if you aren’t used to it. Metta (loving-kindness) or breath/concentration practice should be used if Tong Len starts to get more difficult.
The schedule is similar to a Zen retreat schedule. We’ll chant the Metta Sutta.
There will be time for Q&A and spot coaching.
We will be doing deep work. For that reason please feel free to take a break at any point.
Walking Meditation / Breaks / Journalling
Most hours will consist of a 20 minute walking meditation session and a 40 minute seated guided meditation session. The walking meditation sessions will serve to help integrate the previous guided meditation session. Brief walking meditation instruction will be offered. Alternatively these 20 minute sessions can be used to journal or to just take a break. All three will help you integrate the previous guided meditation session.
Cedric will guide an hour long Yoga session. The Yoga routine will be made up of two sequences. The first is based on the “how to grow a lotus” sequence which is specifically designed to help with long meditation sitting. The second sequence is Tibetan Sun Moon Yoga. This Yoga routine is from the Mahamudra lineage. This was taught to me by a Mahamudra master. This practice supports deep meditative experience.
Who is this for?
This program is for those of us who...
- is looking to improve their psychological health, especially those who have tried other healing modalities with disappointing results.
- has problems with exploration and self development, relationships and emotional regulation
- wants to optimise their psychological health
Shared interest and social support can make meditation practice, study, and healing much easier. Make friends in the course on the slack channel and invite friends who you think could benefit to participate in the course.
These are some of the benefits you will have by the end of the program
- Greater understanding and compassion for psychological problems and vulnerabilities that affect you and others.
- Understanding the importance of your personal explorations as a source for meaning in your life and more clarity on how to proceed in life towards those explorations and goals.
- Less identification with your psychological maladies and quirks (ego-dystonia with your maladaptive schemas).
- A better ability to observe your mind with meta-cognitive awareness as a result of the mentalization exercises peppered through the guided meditations.
- Better able to do emotional regulation on the spot in your daily life with ‘micro-hits’ of meditation.
- Less blame of self or others.
- More understanding and compassion towards your parts/modes and needs.
For your relationships
- Better appreciation for the importance and value of interpersonal collaboration
- Opportunities to find accountability partners to meditate with
- A sense of camaraderie as a result of seeing how our psychological difficulties are rooted in common experiences that affect us all.
- Slack group with which to discuss and share experiences and consolidate what you are learning.
Frequently Asked Questions
If you are experiencing any technical issues relating to accessing the material or live sessions, please get in touch with us. We will get back to you as soon as possible.
We can be reached with our online contact form.
This is what participants of prior retreats have to say:
Great retreat, thank you so much Cedric. There is something special about Tonglen and using it with the schemas feels so healing. I feel hopeful and inspired to keep working with Tonglen.
Thank you for continuing to make these classes. When I am able to attend, they make a really positive contribution to my mental health :)
Cedric I would just like to say thanks for your wisdom and knowledge of attachment issues and repair. The work you are doing really helps me and I have never come across anything as transformative for me as your meditations. Thank you so much.
Thank you for this beautiful retreat. Feels like this is what I needed in the moment.
Registration has closed.
Please note: This program is offered for educational purposes only and is not group-therapy, counselling or any kind of other psychotherapy, nor is it a substitute for the aforementioned. The instructor Cedric Reeves is a meditation teacher, not a psychotherapist, counsellor, or otherwise therapist.