Join us for a 9-week course on Anxious-Preoccupied attachment, where we will take a deep dive into working through our preoccupied features. This is an experiential-oriented meditation course.
As part of the course, you will be assigned to a practice pod of three to five fellow students for a weekly meeting. This is optional.
This event has started but you are perfectly welcome to join mid-way. You can attend the remaining live classes and will get access to all of the recordings.
We can't guarantee placement into a pratice-pod for late sign ups, but we will try our best.
Format
9 Week Course:
One live 90 minute class per week
Live Online Sessions: The live sessions will be hosted on Zoom. An email with the zoom links will be sent to you after you have registered.
Q&A: There will be opportunity to ask questions during the Q&A section.
Attendance & Recordings
Partial attendance is fine - however you get best results if you attend all sessions.
Late Starts: You can join even after it has started.
View at your own pace: The event will be recorded and sent out to registered participants for viewing on your own schedule.
This course will run twice in order to be accessible to people in different time zones. The content is exactly the same. You will get the access details for both after signing up.
There will be one live 90 minute class per week.
Class Schedule
This is the approximate format of each class.
Duration
Activity
5 mins
5 mins of meditation to settle the mind.
5 mins
Review of last week’s class (first class will be introductions instead)
35 mins
Lecture on new material
5 mins
Break
40 mins
Guided meditation related to material just discussed
30 mins
Depending on time, there can be an optional thirty minutes extra Q&A after the 90 minute class ends for those who want to stay on.
Attachment Theory Quod aliquam libero libero laudantium vitae voluptatem. Ut voluptates eos eum dolores possimus quia repellendus recusandae. Nostrum ipsam pariatur ad et qui et culpa laboriosam. Cumque optio voluptatem et consectetur iure voluptas. Totam molestias qui faci
Schemas are self-defeating core themes, emotional beliefs, predictions, or patterns about ourself and the world that we keep repeating throughout our lives.
In this course, you will be equipped with the knowledge and meditation practices to start the healing process from Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment to Secure Attachment.
The primary modality is guided, visualization meditation that uses “perfect nurturers” to reparent our inner child. This is done to create emotionally corrective experiences. These emotionally corrective experiences bring about memory reconsolidation, what Bruce Ecker calls “transformational change”.
In addition to the attachment repair meditations with the perfect nurturers, there will be exercises to recognize our particular preoccupied patterns daily life, bring them to consciousness, and repattern them.
In this course we will cover
Repatterning the core, unconscious, negative emotional beliefs (Schemas) of:
Attachment Domain: Domain I
Abandonment & Instability
Shame & Defectiveness
Emotional Deprivation
Impaired Autonomy and Performance: Domain II
Dependence & Incompetence
Vulnerability to Harm and Illness
Enmeshment & Underdeveloped Self
Failure to Achieve
Other Directedness: Domain IV
Self-Subjugation
Self-Sacrifice
Approval Seeking & Recognition Seeking
The recognition and replacement of Dysfunctional Behaviors (”Modes”) such as
Surrender compliance modes of not standing up for yourself
Avoidance modes, especially around avoiding your own explorations and self-assertion
Correcting metacognitive (mentalization) deficits
Better emotional regulation techniques especially for difficulty discussions with loved ones
Better identification and understanding of your present moment experience (mindfulness) especially as it relates to anxious-preoccupied mental states.
Better ability to make meaning out of your life in such a way to facilitate compassion, acceptance, and healing.
Learning to balance doubt and confidence in a fluid and responsive way to your environment
Learning to balance self-control and spontaneity in a way that is responsive to the moment
Learning to balance emotional and cognitive perspectives at the same time
Learning to hold the other’s “mind in mind”
Learning to hold one’s own self in mind (valuing your own perspectives and desires)
Correcting non-cooperative speech patterns – Drawing from the Adult Attachment Interview and Grice’s Maxims of cooperative speech:
Learning to monitor what is and is not relevant to the conversation
Learning to monitor what is and is not an appropriate amount of time to ‘hold onto the conversational turn’ before turning it over to your conversation partner
Learning to monitor your speech so that it is clear and easily understood by your conversation partner
Learn collaborative Relationship practices
Forgiveness practice
Imago Dialogue techniques
Learn to own and value your own desires
That “what you want matters.”
Differentiation of sincere concern and compassion from self-sacrifice and self-subjugation
Breaking free from approval and recognition seeks & feeling internally validated
Differentiating shame, guilt, and healthy remorse
Healthy Self Development vs Enmeshment
This meditation course draws on:
Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth, et al)
Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (Brown, et al)
Inner Child Work (Bradshaw, et al)
Schema Therapy (Young, et al)
Coherence Therapy (Ecker, et al)
Mentalization-Based Treatment (Fonagy, et al)
Metacognitive Therapy (DiMaggio, et al.)
Buddhist Visualization Practices
Mindfulness Practice
Adult Attachment Interview (Main, et al)
Week 1What is Anxious Preoccupied Attachment in Adults & using Meditation to Heal
Basics of Preoccupied Attachment (causes, presentation in adults)
Treatment arc for Preoccupied Attachment (how long it takes, how many sessions)
Identifying relationship patterns
Frustrated assertiveness and the consequences (helplessness, perservating anger)
Specific qualities of the perfect nurturer for healing Preoccupied Attachment
Guided Meditation on experimenting and identifying the preoccupied mind-state
Primary meditation: Perfect nurturers for Preoccupied Attachment
Homework: first meet with your practice pod + listen to guided perfect nurturer meditation + apply “art of taking action” to daily life to augment sense of agency
Please note that the curriculum is subject to change.
Week 2Core Emotional Beliefs (Schemas) of Preoccupied Attachment in Adults
Difference between a stable attachment style and a momentary mental state of attachment
Modified version Diathesis Stress Model used in this course
Understanding and recognizing primary schemas of Preoccupied Attachment
Domain I: Disconnection and Rejection (Attachment Domain)
Abandonment
Shame
Emotional deprivation (lack of attunement, guidance, empathy)
Domain II: Impaired Autonomy & Performance
Dependence/Incompetence
Vulnerability to Harm and Illness
Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self
Failure to achieve
Domain IV: Other directedness
Subjugation
Self-Sacrifice
Approval Seeking/Recognition Seeking
Guided Meditation: experiencing the schemas and repatterning them
Primary meditation: Schema Repatterning Meditation for Preoccupied Attachment
Homework: meet with pod + listen to meditation + investigate schemas in daily life (“I am in memory” exercise)
Week 3The Coping Modes (Behaviors & "Self-Parts") of Preoccupied Attachment
Understanding & identifying the Modes
Surrender to others
Avoidance of self-assertion and exploration
Exercises for recognizing the surrender modes in daily life
Exercises for recognizing the avoidance modes in daily life
Starting to develop the healthy adult mode
Healthy anger -vs- helpless anger exercise to know the difference in real life
Guided Meditation: recognizing and repatterning the Preoccupied Modes
Primary meditation: Mentalizing the Modes Meditation for either surrender modes or for exploration avoidance modes
Homework: meet with pod + listen to mentalizing the modes of meditation + recognize the modes in daily life
Week 4Correcting the Metacognition & Mentalization Deficits of Preoccupied Attachment
Features of Preoccupied Attachment on the Adult Attachment Interview (AAI)
Corrective exercises for those diagnostic criteria Preoccupied Attachment
Preoccupied as it relates to Metacognition
Preoccupied as it relates to Mentalization
Guided Meditation: Didactic Metacognitive Meditation with “pro-symptom position” of Coherence Therapy
Primary meditation: Mentalizing the Modes Meditation for either surrender modes or for exploration avoidance modes with emphasis on Meta-cognitive deficits of Preoccupied Attachment
Homework: meet with pod + listen to meditation + monitor collaborativeness of speech in daily life
Week 5Correcting the Relationships Traps of Adults with Preoccupied Attachment
Working on collaboration, boundaries setting
Exercise about setting a boundary and being supported by the PN’s about boundary setting
Experiencing that “what you want matters.”
Helplessness as a non-collaborative frame
Holding others in mind from a place of security
Relating to the dismissing avoidant, the secure person, and the disorganized/fearful person ⇒ developing compassion for those with a different attachment style from yours.
Investigating behaviors that are problematic and that block secure functioning relationships (all of these coping strategies that made perfect sense in your family of origin. But we want to bring this into conscious awareness and allow for a different and more responsive/flexible way of behaving in our adult lives)
Helplessness
Clinginess
Need for constant reassurance (dependence/incompetence and abandoment)
Putting up with abuse/poor treatment (subjugation schema and surrender modes)
Helpless anger
Demanding that the other person fix you and presenting problems to get attention and connection
Excessively caretaking the other
Disclosing too much to people are not the right people (or right stage in the relationship). This comes from the yearning for closeness. But there is a metacognitive deficit in terms of seeing if the other is ready for it or not. None of this is your fault. But it’s your responsibility to fix it.
Correcting the inclination to infer hostility and rejection in others. (negativity schema)
Stress tolerance exercises
Recognizing “oh I’m in memory.” in real-time: “I am reacting to my early conditioning, not the present moment.”
Forgiveness as a means of healing and a critical factor for secure functioning relationships
How to work with trauma using attachment visualizations
Depersonalization and derealization issues
Exercise where you feel real – “What you want matters” – “You have agency” – “Your body is your own.”
Guided Meditation: working through the Schema of Mistrust and Abuse (trauma)
Primary meditation: Schema Repatterning Meditation for Impaired Autonomy
Homework: meet with pod + listen to meditation
Based on Morita Therapy: Taking action to lessen anxiety and fear and to build greater agency
Week 8Developing the Healthy Adult Self - Calibrated to Preoccupied Adults
Exploration
Assertiveness
Purpose
Self-agency
Self-esteem
Qualities of best self
Intimacy
Guided Meditation
Primary meditation: Developing the Qualities of the Healthy Adult Mode specified for Preoccupied Attachment
Homework: meet with pod + listen to meditation
Week 9Review Class
Wrap up and review
Trouble Shooting
The path ahead to secure attachment
Main Meditation: strengthening the healthy adult mode
10
Miscellaneous Notes
The course is cohort-based and interactive. We have a slack group where you will be able to discuss, share experiences and consolidate what you are learning.
There will be time for Q&A and spot coaching.
We will be doing deep work. For that reason please feel free to take a break at any point.
Shared interest and social support can make meditation practice, study, and healing much easier. Make friends in the course on the slack channel and invite friends who you think could benefit to participate in the course.
Benefits
These are some of the benefits you will have by the end of the program
Theoretical Understanding
A basic understanding of attachment theory.
Much better understanding of anxious Preoccupied Attachment
The importance of attachment repair and how to start doing it
The importance of your personal explorations as a source of meaning in your life and more clarity on how to proceed in life towards those explorations and goals.
Understanding how insecure attachment forms an important foundation of adult mental health
A plan for attaining secure attachment
More understanding of the modes/parts from a schema therapy perspective like:
Demanding internalized parent voices
Overcompensation modes like “workaholic mode”, or “self-aggrandizer mode”
Avoidance detached modes like the “detached self-soother” and the “spaced out fantasy mode”
Compliant surrender mode
Vulnerable child mode (which we reparent with the SRM)
Healthy Adult mode (which results in the vulnerable child getting its needs met)
Understanding the core schemas of anxious Preoccupied Attachment:
Abandonment & instability
Shame & defectiveness
Emotional Deprivation
Dependence/Incompetence
Vulnerability to Harm and Illness
Enmeshment/Undeveloped Self
Failure to achieve
Subjugation
Self-Sacrifice
Approval Seeking/Recognition Seeking
Psychological
A better ability to observe your mind with meta-cognitive awareness as a result of the mentalization exercises peppered through the guided meditations.
Better able to do emotional regulation on the spot in your daily life with ‘micro-hits’ of meditation
Less blame of self or others
Greater understanding and compassion for psychological problems and vulnerabilities that affect you and others.
Less identification with your psychological maladies and quirks (ego-dystonia with your maladaptive schemas).
A better ability to observe your mind with meta-cognitive awareness as a result of the mentalization exercises peppered through the guided meditations.
A very effective way to do emotional regulation on the spot in your daily life with ‘micro-hits’ of the SRM meditation
Understanding of and compassion towards your parts/modes and needs.
A more coherent and realistic understanding of the role your childhood experiences had in producing your adult personality.
For your relationships
Understanding how attachment conditioning unconsciously drives your relationship behaviors
And how to remedy them.
Greater valuing of attachment itself.
Better understanding of relationship dynamics
Feeling more empowered to set healthy boundaries
Support Structure
A sense of camaraderie as a result of seeing how our psychological difficulties are rooted in common experiences that affect us all.
Weekly attachment repair meditation that will start moving you towards secure attachment conditioning.
Opportunities to find accountability partners to meditate with during the week.
A sense of camaraderie as a result of seeing how our psychological difficulties are rooted in common experiences that affect us all.
A Slack group to continue discussion during the week.
Extra guided meditation session on Friday mornings at 8 am Eastern Time (bonus)
Attachment related book club meetings on Friday mornings at 9 am Eastern Time (bonus)
“The slack group enhanced the experience and learning for me, maybe quadrupled the benefits I got. Reading and learning about other people’s experiences and also how you spent the time answering questions to help people with their practice” — Michelle
Frequently Asked Questions
About Participation
Are there any prerequisites to attend?
No, this course is open to anyone, regardless of your familiarity with attachment theory or prior meditation experience.
Is there homework?
Yes, there is homework every week.
Optimally you should listen to the meditation recordings (30 min) daily or every other day. However, while it is optimal for you to do it, the value of coming to class and doing meditation in class does not rely on you having done the homework.
You’ll be assigned to a practice pod of 3 to 5 fellow students. It’s recommended that the practice pod sessions be spent listening to the meditation, discussing practice, and challenges.
What should I do if I sign up for the course late?
Signing up late is perfectly fine. Because the course is practice-oriented, you should catch up by doing the practices in your own time. The recordings of the sessions you were not able to attend will be made available to you. You will be able to catch up on the material and do the meditations in your own time.
Is the course compatible with therapy/counselling/psychotherapy?
Yes, and in fact we highly encouraged you to do both.
I am not sure I can commit to following a 8-week long course. What should I do?
The course has been designed for live attendance. All recordings are made available to you every week. It allows you to watch the recordings at home and do the meditations in your own time.
Technical Questions
How do I access the online event?
Once you sign up, an email will be sent out to you with a zoom link. It will allow you to access the live classes. You can add the zoom to your google calendar to be reminded.
A password will be shared with you in order to access the recordings from previous classes.
How long will I have access to the course?
The recordings will be available for two more months after the course ends.
I’m having technical issues accessing the event
If you are experiencing any technical issues relating to accessing the material or live sessions, please get in touch with us. We will get back to you as soon as possible.
What is the refund policy?
If for any reason you aren’t satisfied, simply contact us and we will send you a full refund.
My payment didn’t go through / I’m having payment issues
If you are experiencing troubles with your payment, simply contact us and we will get back to you as soon as we can.
I don’t have Paypal / Card / are there alternative payment methods?
There are other payment methods listed on our donations page. Otherwise contact us for other options. If you lack any ability to make online payments, let us know and we can sign you up for free.
In what format are the recordings?
The recordings will be made available as video and also as audio-only.
I have technical issues accessing the course or recording. What should I do?
If you are experiencing any technical issues relating to accessing the material or live sessions, please get in touch with us. We will get back to you as soon as possible.
This course is for anyone who has tried other healing or therapeutic modalities with unsatisfactory results. For such people, the likely cause is an underlying attachment disorder that traditional therapies don’t have access to.
It is also for anybody who experiences recurring problems or triggers in their relationships that seem to stem from childhood or their subconscious and wants to address these issues at their root.
Mostly, it is for people who are motivated and have a practitioner’s mindset – a willingness to practice and do the meditations on your own.
Are there any prerequisites to attend?
No, this course is open to anyone, regardless of your familiarity with attachment theory or prior meditation experience.
Is there homework?
Yes, there is homework every week.
Optimally you should listen to the meditation recordings (30 min) daily or every other day. However, while it is optimal for you to do it, the value of coming to class and doing meditation in class does not rely on you having done the homework.
You’ll be assigned to a practice pod of 3 to 5 fellow students. It’s recommended that the practice pod sessions be spent listening to the meditation, discussing practice, and challenges.
What should I do if I sign up for the course late?
Signing up late is perfectly fine. Because the course is practice-oriented, you should catch up by doing the practices in your own time. The recordings of the sessions you were not able to attend will be made available to you. You will be able to catch up on the material and do the meditations in your own time.
Is the course compatible with therapy/counselling/psychotherapy?
Yes, in fact, we highly encouraged you to do both. Check out our Disclaimer for more information on why seeking professional advice alongside our course is optimal.
I am not sure I can commit to following a 9-week long course. What should I do?
The course has been designed for live attendance. All recordings are made available to you every week. It allows you to watch the recordings at home and do the meditations in your own time.
Technical Questions
How do I access the course?
Once you sign up, an email will be sent out to you with a zoom link. It will allow you to access the live classes. You can add the zoom to your google calendar to be reminded.
A password will be shared with you in order to access the recordings from previous classes.
How long do I have access to the course?
The recordings will be available to you for 70 days (duration of the course + 2 weeks).
In what format are the recordings?
The recordings will be made available as video and also as audio-only.
My payment didn’t go through. What should I do?
If you are experiencing troubles with your payment, contact us. We will get back to you as soon as we can.
What is the refund policy?
If for any reason you aren’t satisfied, simply contact us and we will send you a full refund.
I have technical issues accessing the course or recording. What should I do?
If you are experiencing any technical issues relating to accessing the material or live sessions, please get in touch with us. We will get back to you as soon as possible.
This is what participants of prior Courses have to say:
Dani
Thank you for continuing to make these classes. When I am able to attend, they make a really positive contribution to my mental health :)
Allison
I am enjoying the Healing Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment course so much! It's blowing my mind, and that's after decades of amazing therapy, EMDR, attachment couples therapy, neurofeedback, inner child nurturing, self-compassion, and many other profound growth experiences. I’m so delighted by how much I'm getting out of the course. Feels like it's a missing piece for me that is so healing. Thank you !
Allyson
THANK YOU!! this is powerful for me, so thank you thank you for sharing your insight.
I like how you really balance the “just do the work” attitude with sooo much compassion and empathy for how hard it is.
Now I know how to use the immense power of my imagination to heal my most fundamental body-mind-soul mechanisms and have a more joyful, loving life.
Johnny
I love your offerings. Keep them coming. You have a good capacity to make people feel seen – and also show great respect for us as individuals – in itself that is an healing factor in being in courses of yours! Your humbleness and humour – make every call a killer. Rock on.
I like learning about these subjects! Feels very helpful in understanding my problems/reason to part of my suffering. I feel I have grown during the course so far – and or moving in a better direction.
Anastasia Chebotaryova
I want to say thank you for giving this opportunity and I recommend this course because of the huge impact it is making on my well-being.
It is easier to self-regulate emotionally and I have a deeper understanding of attachment and compassion and it’s place and impact in life.
N.P.
Loved the course and loved this kind of emotional work. Look forward to doing more that you offer.
Content was excellent. Meditation around Schema modes went quite deep and uncovered difficult emotions. Doing micro hits has improved some situations that would have gone worse.
Chelsea
I gained an ability to self soothe, meet my needs for validation and feeling seen/heard (which were often unmet in childhood), an overall feeling like I am less alone in my work of healing my attachment.
I realize I benefit greatly from an 8 week course with a weekly meeting, I am able to do daily meditations on my own and feel supported in this routine with the weekly meetings.
I feel I am actively and consistently working on my attachment repair by being part of a longer course (as opposed to a weekend workshop).
Anon
I’m sure this will seem out of the blue to you, but I was just thinking of things I am thankful for and thought of you and the two Attachment Repair courses of yours I had the pleasure to participate in. I just wanted to say a very heartfelt thank you. I want you to know I really appreciated the kindness and effort you put into that work, and into responding to all of our questions. My exposure to your teaching has been immensely helpful for me.
Stu
I’m knowing myself better which allows me to connect in a more authentic way. I am also recognizing the attachment styles better in people I interact with and hammering out what I am really seeking in a relationship.
I didn’t realize how important unconditional exploration and expression was for me until this class.
This event is offered on a sliding scale to be accessible to anyone.
If you truly cannot afford the minimum rate,
contact us.
Nobody will be turned away due to lack of funds.
* This course will include interactive group work and requires more organisation on our end than usual. For this reason, we’re asking that you please consider giving as much as you can toward our costs. We genuinely want everyone to be able to attend, regardless of their circumstances, so if you are in a position where you can make this possible for others, please do what you can.
Tier 4
$400
($44 per class)
I have enough resources and would like to support others.
$400 – I have enough resources and would like to support others, $300 – I have sufficient resources, $200 – I have some resources, Pay what you can – I don't have the resources
If the Paypal widget fails to load, please try reloading the page.
If you lack the ability to pay online (no Card or Paypal)
contact us
to request alternate options.
If you get an error during payment, please contact us saying "My payment method for Healing Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment isn't working" and we'll send you other options.
If you miss a session or are dissatisfied for whatever reason, simply let us know and we will issue you a full refund, no questions asked.
Hi Jennifer,
It will most likely start a month or so after this one ends. You’re also welcome to join this one part-way or watch it on your own time with the recordings.
Please note: This program is offered for educational purposes only and is not group-therapy, counselling or any kind of other psychotherapy, nor is it a substitute for the aforementioned. The instructor Cedric Reeves is a meditation teacher, not a psychotherapist, counsellor, or otherwise therapist.
Sign up to our newsletter to be notified of upcoming online courses, workshops and retreats
We'll also send you a free guided visualisation meditation
Emails once or twice a month, announcing our donation-based events. Unsubscribe anytime.
Thank you!Please check your inbox to confirm your subscription
I look forward to taking this course.
We look forward to having you!
Thankyou
Thank you!
Looking forward to taking this course And improving myself.
When does the next course begin? I’m not sure that I can make it this time.
Hi Jennifer,
It will most likely start a month or so after this one ends. You’re also welcome to join this one part-way or watch it on your own time with the recordings.