• Date: Monday, 23rd Apr 2022
  • Instructor: Cedric Reeves
  • Cost: Sliding scale

This experientially focused online meditation retreat will use guided attachment repair meditation to heal our perfectionism, negativity bias, and emotional inhibition.

Who is this for?

  • For anyone who wants to go from insecure to secure attachment.
  • Suitable for anyone new to attachment-work, or is already experienced.
  • People with Insecure Attachment.
  • For anyone who is willing to do the work to get results

Event Date & Time

The retreat runs for 8 hours, 30 mins total. Partial attendance is perfectly fine.

retreat Overview

This program is suitable for beginners to meditation and healing work.

This program emphasizes working through negative early attachment conditioning.

In guided meditations we’ll study, understand, confront, and re-pattern the four schemas of Jeffrey Young’s “Hyper-vigilance and Inhibition Schema Domain”.  The four schemas (felt sense beliefs) are:

  1. Emotional Inhibition: Repression and inhibition of emotion in order to avoid rejection or critique.
  2. Unrelenting Standards/Hyper-criticalness: High internal demands for competence, achievement, rule-following, ethics, and efficiency.
  3. Punitiveness: The belief that others or oneself should be punished for their mistakes. Harshness, lack of clemency, lack of forgiveness.
  4. Negativity/Pessimism: A pervasive expectation of negative outcomes in life. This reinforces helplessness and hopelessness

These four schemas are found in all three major insecure attachment styles.  Therefore it is relevant to people with  Dismissing-Avoidant, Anxious-Preoccupied, and Fearful-Disorganized Attachment.

We will approach this from attachment theory and attachment repair perspectives.

We’ll do this work primarily through guided meditations along with relevant psycho-education

Attachment Theory describes one of the earliest phases of our psychological development. It describes the behaviors of the infant from ages 6 months to three years of age when it ventures away from the caregiver to explore and then goes back to seek safety, affection, and care from the ‘secure base’.  These early experiences imprint on us forming the emotional memories (schemas) that go on to condition many aspects of life thereafter.

This early conditioning is the developmental foundation of our adult psychology and mental health.

When the ‘secure base’ isn’t secure we develop a stronger negativity bias, are more demanding with ourselves, and are more emotionally inhibited. We’ll focus on fixing this conditioning through direct attachment repair work (guided meditations).

The program’s structure is set up such to help us heal common aspects of insecure attachment. There will be four guided meditation sessions focused the four Schemas of the “Schema Domain” of “Hyper-vigilance and Inhibition”.

According to Jeffery Young “An early maladaptive schema is a pervasive self-defeating or dysfunctional theme or pattern of memories, emotions, and physical sensations, developed during childhood or adolescence and elaborated throughout one’s lifetime, that often has the form of a belief about the self or the world.” Jeffrey Young also calls the schemas “life traps”.

We’ll also draw on Ideal Parent Figure Protocol, developed by Dan Brown, which has been found to be effective for moving people with insecure attachment to secure attachment after repeated sessions.

The form of meditation that we’ll use is the “Schema Repatterning Meditation”  This meditation uses the “Perfect Nurturers” to reparent our inner, vulnerable child and thereby bring about emotional memory reconsolidation.

Details about modalities

The technique that we’ll be using, the “Schema Repatterning Meditation” is influenced by Jeffrey Young’s Schema Therapy approach, Dan Brown and David Elliot’s Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (IPF), and Bruce Ecker, Laurel Hulley, and Robin Ticic’s Coherence Therapy.

Schema therapy was developed by Jeffrey Young in response to seeing how traditional Beckian Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) was ineffective for patients with more serious disturbances like personality disorders.

Ideal Parent Figure Protocol was developed particularly to treat insecure attachment.

Coherence therapy is a therapeutic modality that focuses on bringing “transformational change” through emotional memory reconsolidation.

Schemas, Psycho-Education and Guided Meditations

Schemas

We will do psycho-education and reparative meditations on each the following schemas:1

Hyper-vigilance and Inhibition

  1. Emotional Inhibition: Repression and inhibition of emotion in order to avoid rejection.
  2. Unrelenting Standards/Hyper-criticalness: High internal demands for competence, achievement, rule-following, ethics, and efficiency
  3. Punitiveness: The belief that others or oneself should be punished for their mistakes. Harshness, lack of clemency, lack of forgiveness.
  4. Negativity/Pessimism: A pervasive expectation of negative outcomes in life.

Moreover we’ll investigate how each of these schemas manifest as behaviors (schema modes); particularly the coping modes of surrender, avoidance, and overcompensation.  Then we’ll regress back to the vulnerable child mode and feel into the schema, studying how it was brought about through difficult childhood experiences.  Then we’ll reparent the vulnerable child around those difficult experiences.

Psycho-Education

We will start with a brief lecture on attachment theory, attachment repair, the Schema Repatterning Meditation using Perfect Nurturers, and Schema Therapy.

Then, before each guided meditation on each schema listed above, we will do a brief psycho-education on that particular schema drawing both from Jeffrey Young’s Schema Theory and Attachment Theory.

Guided Meditations

Guided meditation will be the primary means for working through the schemas. We will be taking an attachment theory based re-parenting approach in the guided meditation. These meditations will give us corrective emotional experiences. The “perfect nurturers” will reparent our inner, vulnerable child in the meditation. These meditations will help us remap the ‘internal working model of attachment’.  This method moves us from insecure toward secure attachment

We will apply each of these meditations to each the five schemas listed above:

  • Schema Repatterning Meditation, a meditation in which our “perfect nurturers” reparent our inner, vulnerable child.
  • Tong Len, a Tibetan Buddhist compassion meditation. This will help us cultivate compassion generally and also particularly around the schema in question. Moreover, by considering how others suffer with the same schemas we will see how we are not alone in our difficulties. This helps to normalize the painful experience of the schemas. Moreover, compassion around our shared difficulties further builds solidarity and a sense connection with others.
  • Positive Opposite meditation will open up our imagination to see how we can move past our schema “life traps” and open up to the positive opposite of our schemas. Thereby we see new and better possibilities for our lives. That helps us actually change the behaviors towards the positive;
  • Mentalization exercises. Mentalization, also known as metacognition is the ability to reflect on your own and others’ mental states. This helps us understand the motivations that drive behavior. Weak mentalization abilities are correlated with poorer functioning in life, and psychological disorders like personality disorders, depression, anxiety disorders, and substance abuse disorder. Strong mentalization is a hallmark of robust mental health. Understanding your own and others mental states helps to develop confidence in making sense out of the world and your experience of it. All the guided meditations will be peppered with instructions that encourage looking back at one’s own mind state and the mind states of others. This will improve our mentalization abilities.

 

Miscellaneous Notes

There will be time for Q&A and spot coaching.

We will be doing deep work. For that reason please feel free to take a break at any point.

Walking Meditation / Breaks / Journalling

Most hours will consist of a 20 minute walking meditation session and a 40 minute seated guided meditation session. The walking meditation sessions will serve to help integrate the previous guided meditation session. Brief walking meditation instruction will be offered. Alternatively these 20 minute sessions can be used to journal or to just take a break. All three will help you integrate the previous guided meditation session.

Who is this for?

This program is for those of us who...

  • Are looking to improve our psychological health, especially those who have tried other healing modalities with disappointing results.
  • Have problems with exploration and self development, relationships and emotional regulation
  • Want to optimise our psychological health
  • Want to understand the early foundations of our psychological development
  • Want to overcome emotional inhibition
  • Want to overcome perfectionism
  • Want to overcome a tendency towards pessimism

Healing Together

  • Shared interest and social support can make meditation practice, study, and healing much easier.
  • Make friends in the course on the slack channel and invite friends who you think could benefit to participate in the course.
  • Seeing how common and normal (normalizing) the schemas of emotional inhibition, pessimism, punitiveness, and unrelenting standards are.

Benefits

These are some of the benefits you will have by the end of the program

Theoretical Understanding

  • A basic understanding of attachment theory and how to start doing it.
  • A more coherent understanding of the role your childhood experiences had in producing your adult personality.
  • A better understanding of how you personally developed the schemas of emotional inhibition, pessimism, punitiveness, and unrelenting standards.
  • An understanding that the development of these schemas is just ‘causal’, not personal.  This helps us release shame around our schema and personality difficulties.

Psychological

  • A full day of attachment repair meditation that will start moving you towards a secure attachment conditioning and a greater ability to do self-development and explore what is personally meaningful to you.
  • A very effective way to do emotional regulation on the spot in your daily life with ‘micro-hits’ of Schema Repatterning Meditation.
  • A better ability to observe your mind with metacognitive awareness as a result of the mentalization exercises peppered through the guided meditations.
  • Better understanding of your own relationship shortcomings and how to remedy them.
  • Less identification with your psychological maladies and quirks (ego-distonia with your maladaptive schemas)

For your relationships

  • Greater understanding and compassion for psychological problems and vulnerabilities that effect yours and others.
  • Less blame of self or others.
  • A sense of camaraderie as a result of seeing how our psychological difficulties are rooted in common experiences that affect us all.

Support Structure

  • Opportunities to find accountability partners to meditate with
  • Slack group with which to discuss and share experiences and consolidate what you are learning

Frequently Asked Questions

About Participation

Once you sign up, an email will be sent out to you with a Zoom link. It will allow you to access the live classes. A free Zoom account is necessary, and Zoom needs to be installed on your computer before the event starts.
No, this course is open to anyone, regardless of your familiarity with attachment theory or prior meditation experience.
Yes, and in fact we highly encouraged you to do both.

Payment Questions

If for any reason you aren’t satisfied, simply contact us and we will send you a full refund.
If you are experiencing troubles with your payment, simply contact us and we will get back to you as soon as we can.
There are other payment methods listed on our donations page. Otherwise contact us for other options. If you lack any ability to make online payments, let us know and we can sign you up for free.

Technical Questions

The recordings will be available for two more months after the course ends.
The recordings will be made available as video and also as audio-only.

If you are experiencing any technical issues relating to accessing the material or live sessions, please get in touch with us. We will get back to you as soon as possible.

We can be reached with our online contact form.

Testimonials

This is what participants of prior retreats have to say:

Dani

Thank you for continuing to make these classes. When I am able to attend, they make a really positive contribution to my mental health :)

M.

Thank you for this beautiful retreat. Feels like this is what I needed in the moment.

J.

Cedric I would just like to say thanks for your wisdom and knowledge of attachment issues and repair. The work you are doing really helps me and I have never come across anything as transformative for me as your meditations. Thank you so much.

J.

Great retreat, thank you so much Cedric. There is something special about Tonglen and using it with the schemas feels so healing. I feel hopeful and inspired to keep working with Tonglen.

Share this Event

Share this page with anyone you know who would be interested and would benefit from participating.

Registration

Registration has closed.

The recording is available in our Store:

This Post Has 0 Comments

  1. Brenda Cloyd

    If purchased can the seminar be watched at another time?

    1. Hi Brenda,
      Yes the recordings will be available to view for two months after the course ends.

  2. Nicole

    Hi, Cedric. How do I register to get the recordings?

    1. Oscar Nugent

      Hey Nicole, just sent you an email about this.

Leave a Reply

Please note: This program is offered for educational purposes only and is not group-therapy, counselling or any kind of other psychotherapy, nor is it a substitute for the aforementioned. The instructor Cedric Reeves is a meditation teacher, not a psychotherapist, counsellor, or otherwise therapist.