• Date: 3rd Oct - 21st Nov 2022
  • Instructor: Cedric Reeves
  • Cost: Sliding scale
Register

Join us for this course where we will do visualization practices that use "perfect nurturers" to reparent our inner child.

The intended outcome is to get you doing the meditation practice to move you along the path towards earned secure attachment.

This program is for people who have insecure attachment, in particular those who have tried other healing modalities, like psychotherapy and mindfulness meditation, with disappointing results.

Who is this for?

  • For anyone who wants to go from insecure to secure attachment.
  • Suitable for anyone new to attachment-work, or is already experienced.
  • People with Insecure Attachment.
  • For anyone who is willing to do the work to get results.

This event has ended, but you can still register to get the recordings.

They will be emailed to you as soon as they are ready - within a week of the event.

Event Date & Time

Start Date: 3rd Oct - End Date: 21st Nov 2022

This course will run twice in order to be accessible to people in different time zones. The content is exactly the same. You will get the access details for both after signing up.

There will be one live 90 minute class per week.

Class Schedule

This is the approximate format of each class.

Duration Activity
5 mins Short meditation to settle the mind
5 mins Review of last week’s class (first class will be introductions instead)
35 mins Lecture on new material
5 mins Break
40 mins Guided meditation related to material just discussed
30 mins Depending on time, there can be an optional thirty minutes extra Q&A after the 90 minute class ends for those who want to stay on.

We will be doing deep work. For that reason please feel free to take a break at any point.

course Overview

This program is suitable for beginners to meditation and healing work.

This program will cover:

  • The basics of attachment theory
  • How it forms much of the developmental foundation for adult mental health
  • How attachment conditioning is made up of attachment schemas which together form an “internal working model of attachment” (Bowlby)
    • We will re-pattern and work through these attachment schemas systematically
  • How insecure attachment usually implies deficits in mentalization capacities (metacognitive, perspective taking abilities)
    • Which we start correcting in the guided meditation
  • How to heal our early attachment conditioning in order to have much improved well-being, better romantic and platonic relationships, and a stronger, healthy sense of self
  • There will also be an experiential quiz at the end of the first class to help you get a sense for what your attachment style may be

This is a practice oriented course.

Doing the work (meditations in this case) is what brings about the results. The learning content of the course is intended to guide and encourage the meditation practice.

Why is focusing on attachment repair especially relevant to people who have struggled with other healing modalities?

  • Attachment conditioning sets the foundation for much of psychological development thereafter.  The foundation, optimally, should be healthy before further work is fruitful.
  • Attachment conditioning happens between 6 and 20 months of age: before there is much narrative or cognitive functioning.
  • For this reason doing work at a later developmental level (cognitive/narrative approaches to healing (CBT etc.)) is not as effective without a solid base.  Healing attachment conditioning should come first.  Then other healing modalities (talk therapy, mindfulness, meditation, etc) can more easily have their desired effects when built on the foundation of secure attachment conditioning.
  • In order to fix attachment conditioning we must have lived, emotionally corrective experiences.
  • This is the core focus on this course: Having emotionally corrective experiences that open up new possibilities for greater happiness and ease, better relationships, and more self-efficacy.

What is the primary practice/ healing modality in this course?

We’ll focus on ‘Schema Repatterning Meditation’ (SRM). SRM is a guided visualization in which we:

  • First identify our problematic, negative schemas (emotional learnings/beliefs) and modes (problematic, symptom producing behaviors that result from the schemas/beliefs)
  • Investigate these beliefs with interest and openness, bringing them fully into awareness using sentence stem completion exercises (based on Bruce Ecker’s work)
  • Discover their origins in childhood, adolescence, and earlier adulthood seeing how these negative learnings were helpful and adaptive at the time, but now no longer adaptive to our adult life
  • Have a calibrated and attuned emotionally corrective experience in the guided meditation that juxtaposes the old negative learning (consistent with Bruce Ecker’s Coherence Therapy)
    • This juxtaposition experience creates a “prediction error” which then initiates the process of memory reconsolidation.
  • All along the way, the meditation guidance helps us develop our metacognitive capacities, correcting executive function deficits that often accompany insecure attachment

This lived corrective experience opens up new possibilities freeing up the narrow, fixed views of our old way of seeing ourselves and the world (schemas) thereby making our ‘symptoms’ unnecessary. These changes are permanent without need for continuing maintenance work.

Drawing from the insights of modern neuroscience, SRM gets right to the root causes of unwanted behaviors by reconsolidating the emotional memories (Ecker et al., 2012).

This course and the guided SRM meditation draws from:

  • Attachment Theory
  • Jeffrey Young’s Schema Therapy
  • Bruce Ecker’s Coherence Therapy
  • The Work of Byron Katie
  • Shirley Jean Schmidt’s Developmental Needs Meeting strategy
  • Laurel Parnell’s Attachment-Focused EMDR
  • Dan Brown and David Elliott’s Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (IPF) / Three Pillars Model
  • Mentalization/Metacogntive therapies (Fonagy, DiMaggio, Liotti)
  • Buddhist Visualization Meditation
  • Buddhist Heart Practices:
    • Loving Kindness
    • Compassion
    • Appreciative Joy
    • Equanimity (Equanimous Love)

Measuring of progress (before and after)

You will have the option to take an in depth assessment before the 8 week course and then again after you’ve completed it. The purpose of this is to determine your baseline attachment security, schemas (limiting self-beliefs), sense of safety, anxiety and mood. Moreover this will help you monitor these qualities to assess your improvements over the course. The assessment is free and you will get the results within a few days of completing it.

This anonymized information will then help us complete a pilot study on this attachment repair meditation modality.

Course Curriculum

The course is broken up into 8 classes

Lecture Outline

  • Introduction
  • What is attachment theory
    • How & when is attachment conditioning learned
    • What is the Internal Working Model of Attachment
    • How attachment conditioning is the core of your mental health
    • The value of attachment
  • Attachment repair:
    • How long does it take?
    • How much work is necessary?
    • Is it worth it?
  • Perfect Nurturer Reinforcement Meditation
    • What it is
    • How to use it
    • How and why it heals
  • Primer on the four major attachment styles

Meditation

  • Guided meditation to establish the Perfect Nuturers

Homework Assignment

  • In-class experiential self-assessment quiz to help you figure out your own attachment style.
  • Listen to the guided meditation 30 mins between one and 6 times during the week, as you have time, and also doing “micro-hit” of the SRM meditation in stressful situations as a means of emotional regulation

Lecture Outline

  • Review of first class & Q&A
  • Schema Repatterning Meditation (SRM)
    • Deepening our understanding of how and why it heals
    • Emotionally corrective experiences (dis-confirming knowledge)
      • Role of the ‘responsive other’ to dis-confirm toxic belief
        • Compassion
          • Attunement as dis-confirming of the negative schema
        • Sympathetic joy
        • Unconditional positive regard (equanimous love)
    • Difference between transformational change and counteractive change (Ecker et al)
  • Emotional learnings or felt-beliefs (schemas)
    • What are they
    • How do they form
    • How do the schemas and resultant schema-modes comprise our attachment style
    • How to bring them into awareness them (sentence stems) (Ecker et al, 2012)
    • How do we use Schema Repatterning Meditation to heal them by having an emotionally corrective experience that dis-confirms the old, negative schema
  • How is adult attachment assessed?
    • AAI
    • Assessing attachment pre and post-treatment
  • Dealing with ‘resistance’ and other difficulties:
    • Resistance is our friend and guide not our enemy
    • Resistance points us to the most fruitful schemas to focus on

Meditation

  • Guided SRM Meditation on the Schema of Emotional Deprivation

Homework Assignment

  • There will be an optional homework assignment

Lecture Outline

  • Introduction to the “Early Maladaptive Schemas” and “Schema Modes” (self-parts)
  • Overview of Mentalization (metacognition) (Liotti, DiMaggio) (Steele, Steele, Fonagy)
    • Understanding your own and others mental states as mental states
    • Proper discounting of indeterminacy of mental states
      • Mental states as a ‘guesstimate’
    • Understanding causal relationships between mental states
    • Ability to take skillful postures towards mental states in order to bring about emotional regulation
    • Meaning Making
    • Recognition of developmental aspects like how past experiences present experiences
    • How to make reasonable and accurate mental attributions to others
    • Planning in the face of limited information
    • Understanding the impact of context on decision making
    • Foster the ability to view things from the other’s perspective
    • Recognition of interdependence
    • Developing a sense of purpose greater than self
  • How Mentalization abilities correlate with attachment conditioning

Meditation

  • Guided "Mentalizing the Modes" Meditation

Homework Assignment

  • There will be an optional homework assignment

Lecture Outline

  • Going Deeper with metacognition
  • Further investigating the modes/parts from a schema therapy perspective like (Young et al., 2006):
    • Demanding internalized parent voices
    • Overcompensation modes like “workaholic mode”, or “self-aggrandizer mode”
    • Avoidance detached modes like the “detached self-soother” and the “spaced out fantasy mode”
    • Compliant surrender mode
    • Vulnerable child mode (which we reparent with the SRM)
    • Healthy Adult mode (which results out of the vulnerable child getting their needs met)
  • How schemas (beliefs) and the schema modes (behaviors) feedback and interrelate with each other.

Meditation

  • Guided Mentalizing the Modes Meditation

Homework Assignment

  • There will be an optional homework assignment

Lecture Outline

  • Further description of dismissing attachment in adults
  • Causes of dismissing attachment
    • Rejection of attachment needs
  • Strengths and weaknesses and remedies of dismissing attachment
    • Turning on the attachment mechanism
    • Dealing with shame and rejection
    • General Mentalization exercises
      • Opening up to feelings
    • Exploration behaviors they are 80% well developed – focus on collaborative sharing
    • Importance of seeing ineffectively substituting exploration for attachment needs.
  • How to treat dismissing attachment
    • Encouraging to turn on the attachment mechanism
    • Support for vulnerable expression through corrective emotional experiences that SHOW that it is ok to have needs
    • Experience attentive attunement
  • Schemas, coping modes, and schema modes associated with dismissing attachment.

Meditation

  • Guided Schema Repatterning Meditation calibrated to Dismissing Attachment

Homework Assignment

  • There will be an optional homework assignment

Lecture Outline

  • Further description of preoccupied attachment in adults
  • Origins of preoccupation
    • Role-reversal – involvement in the mental states of the parent.
    • Parental distractedness
    • A form of rejection: your authentic, child presentation self wasn’t actually received. Instead you learned that you could get your needs met if you tended however you did learn the painful lesson that
  • How to treat preoccupied attachment
    • Building confidence in self and ability to explore
    • Show how there is not reason to feel guilt about having needs
    • Give permission to stop compulsive caretaking all for personal needs to be met
    • Experience full, caling attention of the Perfect Nurturers
  • Schemas, coping modes, and schema modes associated with preoccupied attachment.
  • The false self and self-development

Meditation

  • Guided Schema Repatterning Meditation calibrated to Dismissing Attachment

Homework Assignment

  • There will be an optional homework assignment

Lecture Outline

  • Further description of disorganized attachment in adults
  • Origins of disorganized attachment
    • Fearful experiences with the caregiver
  • How to treat disorganized attachment
    • Emphasize safety and trust
    • Experience attunement and consoling
  • Cannot Classify
  • Guided Meditation on Fearful Self-Parts

Meditation

  • Guided Meditation on Fearful Self-Parts

Homework Assignment

  • There will be an optional homework assignment

Lecture Outline

  • Review
  • Detailed discussion of secure attachment
  • Developing the Healthy Adult Mode
  • Life purpose
  • Self-Agency
  • Self-Esteem
  • Wrap Up
    • Review
    • Support for healing attachment conditioning

Meditation

  • Schema Repatterning Meditation with Emphasis on Developing the Healthy Adult Mode & Positive Future Projection

Homework Assignment

  • There will be an optional homework assignment

Miscellaneous Notes

The course is cohort-based and interactive. We have a slack group where you will be able to discuss, share experiences and consolidate what you are learning.

There will be time for Q&A and spot coaching.

We will be doing deep work. For that reason please feel free to take a break at any point.

Practice Pods

Participants in this course have the option to join a practice pod. This is an informal group of 3-5 students who meet, usually once a week, to listen to a guided meditation, discuss difficulties in practice, and share insights and progress. Connecting with peer learners in this way can keep you motivated, consolidate learning, and create a sense of community.

Who is this for?

This program is for those of us who...

  • Have insecure attachment
  • Are looking to improve our psychological health, especially if we have tried other healing modalities with disappointing results
  • Have problems with emotional independence, exploration and sense of self (enmeshment)
  • Have troubles with expressing vulnerability
  • Difficulties with intimate relationships
  • Want to optimize our psychological health
  • Want to understand the early foundations of our psychological development
  • Have had trouble consolidating gains in meditation practice in spite of lots of dedicated meditation practice
  • Have difficulties with emotional regulation

Healing Together

Shared interest and social support can make meditation practice, study, and healing much easier.  Make friends in the course on the slack channel and invite friends who you think could benefit to participate in the course.

Benefits

These are some of the benefits you will have by the end of the program

Theoretical Understanding

  • A basic understanding of attachment theory
  • Understanding the path to “earned secure attachment”
  • The importance of your personal explorations as a source for meaning in your life and more clarity on how to proceed in life towards those explorations and goals.
  • Understanding of how  attachment forms an important foundation of adult mental health
  • Familiarity with Jeffrey Young’s 18 Schemas
  • More understanding of the modes/parts from a schema therapy perspective like:
    • Demanding internalized parent voices
    • Overcompensation modes like “workaholic mode”, or “self-aggrandizer mode”
    • Avoidance detached modes like the “detached self-soother” and the “spaced out fantasy mode”
    • Compliant surrender mode
    • Vulnerable child mode (which we reparent with the SRM)
    • Healthy Adult mode (which results out of the vulnerable child getting its needs met)

Psychological

  • A better ability to observe your mind with metacognitive awareness as a result of the mentalization exercises peppered through the guided meditations.
  • Better able to do emotional regulation on the spot in your daily life with ‘micro-hits’ of meditation
  • Less blame of self or others
  • Greater understanding and compassion for psychological problems and vulnerabilities that affect you and others.
  • Less identification with your psychological maladies and quirks (ego-dystonia with your maladaptive schemas).
  • A more coherent and realistic understanding of the role your childhood experiences had in producing your adult personality.

For your relationships

  • Understanding of how attachment conditioning unconsciously drives your relationship behaviors
  • Greater valuing of attachment itself.
  • Better understand of relationship dynamics
  • Less social anxiety
  • Greater ability and permission to be vulnerable and admit wanting closeness (dismissing/disorganized)

Support Structure

  • Join a weekly practice pod
  • A sense of camaraderie as a result of seeing how our psychological difficulties are rooted in common experiences that affect us all.
  • Weekly attachment repair meditation that will start moving you towards secure attachment conditioning.
  • Opportunities to find accountability partners to meditate with during the week.
  • A sense of camaraderie as a result of seeing how our psychological difficulties are rooted in common experiences that affect us all.
  • A Slack group to continue discussion during the week.
  • Extra guided meditation session on Friday mornings at 8am Eastern Time (bonus)

 

“The slack group enhanced the experience and learning for me, maybe quadrupled the benefits I got. Reading and learning about other people’s experiences and also how you spent the time answering questions to help people with their practice” — Michelle

Frequently Asked Questions

About Participation

Once you sign up, an email will be sent out to you with a Zoom link. It will allow you to access the live classes. A free Zoom account is necessary, and Zoom needs to be installed on your computer before the event starts.
No, this course is open to anyone, regardless of your familiarity with attachment theory or prior meditation experience.
Yes, there is homework every week. Optimally you should listen to the meditation recordings (30 min) daily or every other day. However, while it is optimal for you to do it, the value of coming to class and doing meditation in class does not rely on you having done the homework. You’ll be assigned to a practice pod of 3 to 5 fellow students. It’s recommended that the practice pod sessions be spent listening to the meditation, discussing practice, and challenges.
Signing up late is perfectly fine. Because the course is practice-oriented, you should catch up by doing the practices in your own time. The recordings of the sessions you were not able to attend will be made available to you. You will be able to catch up on the material and do the meditations in your own time.
Yes, and in fact we highly encouraged you to do both.
The course has been designed for live attendance. All recordings are made available to you every week. It allows you to watch the recordings at home and do the meditations in your own time.

Payment Questions

If for any reason you aren’t satisfied, simply contact us and we will send you a full refund.
If you are experiencing troubles with your payment, simply contact us and we will get back to you as soon as we can.
There are other payment methods listed on our donations page. Otherwise contact us for other options. If you lack any ability to make online payments, let us know and we can sign you up for free.

Technical Questions

The recordings will be available for two more months after the course ends.
The recordings will be made available as video and also as audio-only.

If you are experiencing any technical issues relating to accessing the material or live sessions, please get in touch with us. We will get back to you as soon as possible.

We can be reached with our online contact form.

Testimonials

This is what participants of prior courses have to say:

Dani

Thank you for continuing to make these classes. When I am able to attend, they make a really positive contribution to my mental health :)

Allison

I am enjoying the Healing Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment course so much! It's blowing my mind, and that's after decades of amazing therapy, EMDR, attachment couples therapy, neurofeedback, inner child nurturing, self-compassion, and many other profound growth experiences. I’m so delighted by how much I'm getting out of the course. Feels like it's a missing piece for me that is so healing. Thank you !

Anon

I’m sure this will seem out of the blue to you, but I was just thinking of things I am thankful for and thought of you and the two Attachment Repair courses of yours I had the pleasure to participate in. I just wanted to say a very heartfelt thank you. I want you to know I really appreciated the kindness and effort you put into that work, and into responding to all of our questions. My exposure to your teaching has been immensely helpful for me.

Johnny

I love your offerings. Keep them coming. You have a good capacity to make people feel seen – and also show great respect for us as individuals – in itself that is an healing factor in being in courses of yours! Your humbleness and humour – make every call a killer. Rock on. I like learning about these subjects! Feels very helpful in understanding my problems/reason to part of my suffering. I feel I have grown during the course so far – and or moving in a better direction.

Allyson

THANK YOU!! this is powerful for me, so thank you thank you for sharing your insight. I like how you really balance the “just do the work” attitude with sooo much compassion and empathy for how hard it is. Now I know how to use the immense power of my imagination to heal my most fundamental body-mind-soul mechanisms and have a more joyful, loving life.

N.P.

Loved the course and loved this kind of emotional work. Look forward to doing more that you offer. Content was excellent. Meditation around Schema modes went quite deep and uncovered difficult emotions. Doing micro hits has improved some situations that would have gone worse.

Stu

I’m knowing myself better which allows me to connect in a more authentic way. I am also recognizing the attachment styles better in people I interact with and hammering out what I am really seeking in a relationship. I didn’t realize how important unconditional exploration and expression was for me until this class.

Chelsea

I gained an ability to self soothe, meet my needs for validation and feeling seen/heard (which were often unmet in childhood), an overall feeling like I am less alone in my work of healing my attachment. I realize I benefit greatly from an 8 week course with a weekly meeting, I am able to do daily meditations on my own and feel supported in this routine with the weekly meetings. I feel I am actively and consistently working on my attachment repair by being part of a longer course (as opposed to a weekend workshop).

Anastasia Chebotaryova

I want to say thank you for giving this opportunity and I recommend this course because of the huge impact it is making on my well-being. It is easier to self-regulate emotionally and I have a deeper understanding of attachment and compassion and it’s place and impact in life.

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Registration

This event has ended, but you can still register to get the recordings.

They will be emailed to you as soon as they are ready - within a week of the event.

This event is offered on a sliding scale to be accessible to anyone.

Scholarships: Inability to pay is no barrier to taking the class.  Please fill in this form if you need a scholarship and we will accommodate you.
Refund policy: If you are dissatisfied for whatever reason, simply let us know and we will issue you a full refund, no questions asked.

[2022-09] Attachment Theory & Repair

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This Post Has 8 Comments

  1. Greta Neilsen

    Hi,
    Are the course costs listed in US$ ?

    Thanks

  2. Joanne

    Hi there will there be any courses running any other nights after this batch that arent on a monday night. Thank you

    1. Attachment Repair

      Hi Joanne, yes our shorter half-day workshops run on the weekends. Our longer courses that span multiple weeks such as this are on Mondays.

  3. Karen Schweiger

    I’m primarily interested in Option 2, Monday nights, but am curious if we’re allowed to attend either option based on our schedule?

    1. Attachment Repair

      Hey Karen, once you sign up you’ll be able to access either class. You can attend either one depending how it suits you each week.

  4. Dionne

    I live in canada. What are my options for time?

    1. Attachment Repair

      Hi Dionne, classes run at set times twice each day. If any of the US timezones above match your own you can take that as your local time. Otherwise you can search the time difference between your timezone and Eastern Time and adjust according to the times for New York, which is in Eastern Time.

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Please note: This program is offered for educational purposes only and is not group-therapy, counselling or any kind of other psychotherapy, nor is it a substitute for the aforementioned. The instructor Cedric Reeves is a meditation teacher, not a psychotherapist, counsellor, or otherwise therapist.