Attachment Theory (skip this section if familiar with attachment theory)

Attachment is our ‘relational psychology’.

Early childhood experiences impact how we we think and feel about the ourselves, close relationships, and the world at large.

When we are protected, comforted, and cared for, consistently, in childhood, then in adulthood, all things being equal, we generally have good mental health, a robust sense of self, and healthy close relationships.  Said simply, these experiences of good care contribute to secure attachment and good mental health.

However, in childhood, when we don’t get good-enough care, comfort, and protection then we develop insecure attachment.  Insecure attachment predicts greater psychological problems in adulthood, relationship difficulties, problems with self-esteem, etc.

What are Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Preoccupied Attachment (skip if familiar with the DMM)

First, it’s important to understand how Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Preoccupied Attachment are conceptualized in this course. This differs from the mainstream/Main-Goldwyn(Berkeley) Model of Attachment.

In this course, Anxious Preoccupied and Fearful Preoccupied Attachment will, largely, align with the “C Strategy” of the Dynamic Maturational Model (DMM) of Attachment developed by Patricia Crittenden and colleagues. The DMM is rigorous and has greater validation than the more out-of-date model of attachment that is more commonly used (Main, Goldwyn, & Hess etc, the “Berkley Model”).  A comparison of the models can be seen here in this paper.

In this model the adult with Anxious Preoccupied Attachment:

1. feels more anxiety than most
2. feels more abandonment fear than most
3. feels that they must fight for attention, be amusing/entertaining or others will abandon them
4. desires excessive reassurance in relationship
5. often feels an inner-sense of volatility, and in some cases an unstable sense of self
6. feels the instability, unpredictability of life more strongly than most
7. can have a sense of vulnerability to harm or illness, and an obsessive checking to see if things are OK
8. often is in a relationship where there is enmeshment and codependency
9. can struggle with self-discipline
10. has a tendency to focus too much on the negative
11. can ‘hold onto problems’ too long in relationships
12. struggles with helplessness
13. can vacillate between feeling powerful then helpless
14. has distortions around time; some degree of ‘time blindness’
15. can be verbose (talking too much), struggles to get to the point

In addition to struggling with the above list, the person with Fearful Preoccupied Attachment (a more severe and traumatized version of anxious-preoccupied attachment)

1. excessive mistrust towards others
2. when very upset can be punitive
3. has significant trauma background
4. generally has significant anxiety problems and other significant psychiatric disorders
5. can be seductive
6. can be deceptive when feeling threatened

The Model for Healing Attachment in this Course:  The Guided Meditation Sequence

The meditations in this course are structured to build progressively, with each one laying the foundation for the next class’s meditation.

The Pattern:  1) Resourcing -> 2) Somatic Trauma Processing -> 3) Reflective Integration -> 4) Emotionally Corrective Experience

1. Resourcing Meditation consists of imagining ideal parents that will protect us, attune to us, and comfort us around the personal problems.   This builds up the basic resources to do the later meditations.
2. Somatic Processing Meditation helps integrate and resolve the subconscious, pre-cognitive/pre-emotional reactions of tensions and shock carried in the body and ‘deep brain’ (brain-stem, pariaqueductal grey etc) which resulted from early negative experience in question.
3. Reflective Integration Meditation guides us to understand, process, feel, and ultimately resolve the distortions caused by early negative experiences.  This is a complex meditation that is more focused on meta-cognition and reflection. Here, we’ll look at cause and effect relationships, see our responsibility, see the other’s responsibility in negative experiences/outcome, grieve, forgive, see the good and bad of how this experience went on to affect us, etc. Ultimately, the goal of this meditation is to ‘place what belongs in the past in the past’ and ‘take forward what is still relevant’ to our lives, now (Crittenden). This step both builds on the previous Somatic Processing Meditation, and continues to work on the somatic, but integrates the emotional, and cognitive, as well.
4. Emotionally Corrective Experience consist of experiencing the ‘positive opposite’ of the negative belief/feeling/experience.  So, in the case that we are working on, for example, shame and defectiveness then in the meditation we’ll have the Ideal Parents/Perfect Nurturers show us that they experience us as delightful and just-fine-as-we-are, etc. This step is generally not a separate meditation, rather tacked on to the end of the Reflective Integration Meditation.

The sequence in the guided meditation helps us first feel safe and resourced, then process the unconscious somatically-held traumas. Then we reflect and resolve distorted thinking and feeling that resulted from the traumas. This process culminates in emotionally corrective experiences that bring about ’emotional memory reconsolidation‘ and what Bruce Ecker calls ‘transformational change’.

Homework

In each class, there will be meditations given as homework to be done through out the week, daily. Additionally, it’s suggest that you meet with your meditation pod to meditate in a small group together and discuss (optional).

The Lecture Content and Meditations draw from:

• Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth, et al.)
• The Dynamic-Maturational Model of Attachment & Adaptation (Crittenden et al.)
• Deep Brain Reorienting (Corrigan et al.)
• Ideal Parent Figure Protocol (Brown, et al.)
• Schema Therapy (Young, et al.)
• Coherence Therapy (Ecker, et al.)
• Mentalization-Based Treatment (Fonagy, et al.)
• Metacognitive Therapy (DiMaggio, et al.)
• Somatic Psychotherapy Modalities

Outcomes – Results to Expect:

After years of teaching courses like these, it seems that results vary greatly.

1. Most students that stick with the course experience meaningful improvements by the end of the nine week course.
2. And some don’t seem to benefit and usually drop out.

Here, it’s worth noting that we offer full refunds for any reason, whatsoever, with no questions asked, as long as you ask for the refund before the 10th week after the course started.

Additionally, full resolution of Anxious-Preoccupied or Fearful Preoccupied Attachment is not likely as a result of only this course.  Sadly, it’s a long process.  But real progress can be made in the course.

Moreover, please understand that this is a ‘hard work’ course where doing the 20 and 40 minutes a day of meditation, plus attending the once a week class, and the your weekly ‘meditation practice pod’ are what will bring about the healing.  Admittedly, given the time and work commitment this course isn’t a good fit for everyone.

This program will equip you with the knowledge and meditation practices to start the healing process from Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment and Fearful Preoccupied Attachment to Earned Secure Attachment.