This is a digital Self-Paced Course

  • Simply purchase and download the zip
  • Lifetime access to course material

Download contains:

  • 9 video lectures, 5 hours total
  • 8 guided meditations, 4 hours total


This Self-Paced Course explores the benefits of cultivating compassion.

Meditation Technique

Tong Len is said to all include four sublime emotions: Loving Kindness, Compassion, Sympathetic Joy, and Equanimity. It also is a training in the practice of generosity, ethics, tolerance, effort, concentration and wisdom, all at once.

Incorporation of the Schemas

More specifically, we’ll direct the compassion towards all those who (including ourselves) experience suffering around the five attachment Schemas described by Jeffrey Young (Schema Therapy).

They are:

  • Abandonment and Instability
  • Mistrust and Abuse
  • Emotional Deprivation
  • Defectiveness and Shame
  • Social Isolation and Alienation

Relating to the Schemas to our lives

We will use the sentence stems to help us understand how these schemas color our view of ourselves and the world and how we then go about responding to these skewed ways of viewing:

  1. “When I am seeing the world from this schema I see myself like so……. (fill in the blank) and the world is like so…………(fill in the blank).”
  2. Seeing myself and the world this way I must respond in the following way…….(fill in the blank)

We will use the compassion practice to bring about emotionally corrective experiences that will generate a new more positive view of self, other, and world thereby healing the negative schema.


In addition to healing these schemas, the guided meditations will help us do perspective taking, helping us understand cause and effect.  We’ll understand better how we fit in in the world and with others.  We’ll see how the negative conditioning that brought on these schemas are common, and how we are not to blame.


Resistance is a normal part of the healing process.  We will learn to understand and value our own resistance, developing openness, and compassion towards it; not pushing it away.

Second Lecture and Guided Meditation

The second lecture will provide another opportunity for question and answer. Additionally we’ll discuss the motivation to heal in such away to be both personally happier and also to be of greater service to others. Moreover, we will discuss how and why compassion is a natural and necessary outcome of deep and proper spiritual practice.

Tong Len is a safe practice for beginners. But, it can be kinda weird if you aren’t used to it. Metta (loving-kindness) or breath/concentration practice should be used if Tong Len starts to get more difficult.

Who is this For

This program is for those of us who...

  • are looking to improve their psychological health, especially those who have tried other healing modalities with disappointing results.
  • have problems with exploration and self development, relationships and emotional regulation
  • want to optimise their psychological health


These are some of the benefits you will have by the end of the program

Theoretical Understanding

  • Greater understanding and compassion for psychological problems and vulnerabilities that affect you and others.
  • Understanding the importance of your personal explorations as a source for meaning in your life and more clarity on how to proceed in life towards those explorations and goals.


  • Less identification with your psychological maladies and quirks (ego-dystonia with your maladaptive schemas).
  • A better ability to observe your mind with meta-cognitive awareness as a result of the mentalization exercises peppered through the guided meditations.
  • Better able to do emotional regulation on the spot in your daily life with ‘micro-hits’ of meditation.
  • Less blame of self or others.
  • More understanding and compassion towards your parts/modes and needs.

For your relationships

  • Better appreciation for the importance and value of interpersonal collaboration

Included Files:


Compassion and Attachment


Tong Len


2.1 Tong Len


2.2 Tong Len


Overview of the Schemas, Defectiveness and Shame


3.1 Tong Len for Defectiveness and Shame Schema


Abandonment and Instability Schema


4.1 Tong Len for Abandonment Schema


Getting a Sense for Comfort


Self Sacrifice Schema


6.1 Tong Len for Self Sacrifice Schema


Subjugation Schema


7.1 Tong Len for Subjugation Schema


Unrelenting Standards Schema


8.1 Tong Len for Unrelenting Standards Schema


Enmeshment Schema


9.1 Tong Len for Enmeshment Schema

  • 9 video lectures, 5 hours total
  • 8 guided meditations extracted as .mp3s, 4 hours total

Frequently Asked Questions

Self-Paced Courses

Yes, and in fact we highly encouraged you to do both.
By buying this course you receive lifetime access to a collection of videos and guided meditation tracks. These are organized so that there is a progressive order to them, but you can take them as slowly or as quickly as you'd like, and you can always view the same content again.
Once you've completed your purchase, you'll get a link to download the course. You can then view the audio or video files from your laptop, desktop, smartphone, or any devices of your own choice. There is no limit to how many devices you can access the course from.
You can download and keep this course forever and watch it at your own pace as many times as you wish. There is no live Q&A section.

Payment Questions

If for any reason you aren’t satisfied, simply contact us and we will send you a full refund.
If you are experiencing troubles with your payment, simply contact us and we will get back to you as soon as we can.
There are other payment methods listed on our donations page. Otherwise contact us for other options. If you lack any ability to make online payments, let us know and we can sign you up for free.

Technical Questions

The materials are automatically sent to the email address you provide. If there are no typos in your email address, then check your spam folder. If for some reason you have not received the course materials several minutes after completing payment, contact us and we'll help you out.



If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. — The Dalai Lama

The purpose of this self-paced course is to heal early attachment wounds and develop healthier relationships by using meditation practices to cultivate the healing qualities of compassion.

We’ll cover what compassion is, how to cultivate it, and its benefits. More specifically, we’ll learn about how compassion helps to heal attachment conditioning and how it supports healthy relationships with others.

The technique that we’ll use is Tong Len, a Tibetan Buddhist meditation practice. Compassion is a universal virtue, you don’t have to be a Buddhist to do this practice.

This program is for you if you want to work on your:

  • psychological health (especially if you have tried other healing modalities with disappointing results)
  • exploration
  • self-development
  • relationships
  • emotional regulation


The material for this course was recorded during an online event in February 2022.

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Compassion as a means to Heal the Five Core Attachment Schemas
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