One of the primary goals of healing work is to develop the Healthy Adult. Specifically, developing the Healthy Adult is an important piece of developing Earned Secure Attachment. The Healthy Adult is confident, balanced, in touch with their emotions, and able to relate well with others. Everyone has a Healthy Adult to varying degrees of […]

Can you expect to have relationships with someone who has Secure Attachment when you don’t? Maybe or maybe not. But surely it’s easier to find a secure partner and even secure friends when you yourself have Secure Attachment. But then how do you develop Earned Secure Attachment if you don’t have it? Well first off […]

In cases where fear is persistently stonger than seems “reasonable”, the Mistrust and Abuse Schema is often quite strong, and so it’s important to prioritize working on it early in the healing process. If doing a confrontation scene, focus on protection and safety. The Perfect Nurturers back you up, give you power and moral authority […]

Schemas are emotional beliefs/memories/predictions about self, other, and world. In this article, we offer our definitions for the 18 early maladaptive Schemas and our view on how they relate to the Attachment Styles. Most Schemas will be categorized in terms of the Dismissing/Preoccupied dichotomy. Note that Disorganized attachment implies both Dismissing and Preoccupied components. For […]

Here we present a step by step guide on how to meditate to change negative beliefs about self and world (schemas) and related symptoms (modes). The system is called Schema Repatterning Meditation. Identify what I want to work on. Schema: a negative emotional belief about self, other, and world (if you know it you can […]

These tips on creating a safe space for practice were originally shared by a long-term Attachment Repair student in our Slack community.   I wanted to share my process and tips for building an imaginal safe space. I use this space as a foundation for all my attachment/schema work. Basically, that’s where I prepare for […]