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How to Care for Yourself After a Retreat and How to Make it Count

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  • Post published:July 15, 2021
  • Reading time:4 mins read
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Going on retreat can be deeply impactful. It is time spent outside the ordinary rhythms of life and often also outside ordinary states of mind. Coming back after a retreat can therefore be a challenging time, although one that’s full of opportunity. Below are some suggestions on how best to care for yourself post-retreat, while respecting the experience you’ve just had.

First off, don’t expect loved ones to understand. You may feel you’ve made important realizations or changed in significant ways that need to be communicated right away.

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Can You Change Your Attachment Style and if so How?

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  • Post published:June 27, 2021
  • Reading time:5 mins read
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Can you change your attachment style? Yes, you can. But, there are many important considerations to keep in mind.

Attachment conditioning dictates much of how we behave in relationships, view ourselves, how well we explore our world, and how good we are at emotional self regulation (Brown et al., 2016). This conditioning is largely determined very early on between the ages of six and twenty-four months (and to a lesser degree up to three years). The conditioning that takes place at this time occurs at the procedural or implicit level, which is pre-verbal.

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How to Work through the Schemas – Step by Step

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  • Post published:May 5, 2021
  • Reading time:1 mins read
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Here is a brief guide on how to work through the Schemas.

  1. Identify which Schemas you have. A reliable way to get insight on this is to take the Schema Inventory.
  2. Pick the particular Schema that you want to work on.
  3. Activate the Schema and come into the mental state by bringing up auditory thoughts, image thoughts and body sensations and emotions that are associated with the Schema.
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Biology, Attachment, and Love

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  • Post published:February 19, 2021
  • Reading time:2 mins read
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I watched “My Octopus Teacher” last night. It was so moving. It made me think about the relationship between biology, attachment, and love.

John Bowlby theorized that humans, like other primates and mammals, seek out proximity to the mother for evolutionary reasons, namely to seek safety. This makes perfect sense. You can build a theory of love, connection, and affection solely on the basis of the evolutionary benefits of proximity explained by Attachment Theory.

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